How long does it take to get over a breakup?


Every relationship cannot end in a happy ever after. Breakups, separation, and betrayals from the people we love most are inevitable for some of us as we navigate adulthood. 

With that in mind, it isn’t wrong for you to ask how long does it take to get over a breakup? In this article, you will learn the answer to that in addition to actionable steps on how to handle a breakup in the right way. If you’re up for it, let’s dive right in.


How Long Does it Take to Get Over a Breakup?

To answer the question above, there is no fixed time for getting over a breakup. This is mainly because individual circumstances are hardly the same for everyone.

Different people are of different opinions regarding this. The common belief out there is that it takes half the time a relationship lasted for you to fully get over it.

In contrast, this 2017 study suggests that it takes an average of three (3) months before heartbroken Americans fully heal and are ready to love again.

The major takeaway from the disagreements above has to be that there is no formula for getting over a breakup.

But then, take a moment to ask yourself if you’re asking the right question. Shouldn’t you be inquiring if there is a way to speed up the process of getting over a breakup?

If you agreed with me on that, then stay with me as we discuss your steps to recovery over the rest of this article. Otherwise, I wish you all the love in me as you navigate your way out of this thorny path.


12 Tips on How to Get Over a Breakup Fast

Truthfully, if you love someone enough to make them an integral part of your life, moving on without them can be quite challenging, especially at the beginning.

To help you manage a period like this, we put together 12 steps that should help you get back on your feet quickly.


1. Take a Break From Social Media

If you can take a hard break from social media immediately after a breakup, it will help you a lot. This is not a suggestion for you to alienate yourself from the world – far from it. 

The aim here is to filter the sort of information you are exposing yourself to at a time like this since anything as little as a random wedding picture could trigger emotions that are unhealthy for you. 

If you are one of the few that can deal with this effortlessly, then there’s no need for exiting. Otherwise, you’re better off staying away from social media until you’re in a better state of mind.


2. Do Not Keep in Touch

You need to hear or see less of your ex as much as you can. If it’s possible, cut off contact with them completely – for the time being at least. 

With this, you have successfully blocked a major channel of emotional torture during the early phase of a breakup. 

When those dark days of emptiness and vulnerability come, picking up the phone to plead for another chance wouldn’t be an option since you’re no longer in touch.


3. Protect Your Self Esteem and Confidence

Breakups and the resultant emptiness that comes with it can hurt both your self-esteem and the confidence you have in yourself, if not properly managed. 

This is because you may find yourself convinced that you’re not smart or good enough for them hence their decision to leave.

Instead of wallowing in such damaging thoughts, assure yourself that they left because they were too shortsighted to see the awesome human being you are. 

For detailed tips on how to build up or maintain your confidence, take a look at this blog post.


4. Speak To Friends & Family

No matter how strong a character you are, bottling up hurtful emotions and memories of what might have been will eventually break you down and delay your emotional healing as a result.

To mitigate against this, it is highly advised that you speak to someone concerning what you’re going through. Your closest friends and relatives will always be there to listen and cheer you up. 

You will be surprised by the level of support your inner circle will provide at a time like this. There is nothing to lose and all to gain for you here.


 5. Find New Hobbies and Tasks

Chances are high that you may have dropped one or more of your hobbies because of your relationship. Well, it’s time to pick up the good ones among them again. 

Engaging in them again will help bring back memories of your old self. Even if you don’t have any, try finding one.

Consider joining a yoga class, volunteering at a non-profit, or any other activity that will make you interact with people.


6. Reduce Idle Hours

An idle mind has always been the devil’s workshop. Reduce the unproductive hours spent on movies, TVs, and the like. Instead, engage in activities that will improve your finances, career, health, interpersonal skills, etc.

Just reduce idle hours and solitude by getting busy with the activities suggested above and watch your healing process accelerate naturally.


7. Give it time. Plenty of time

Going through a breakup is almost equivalent to grieving the loss of a loved one. It will take an unspecified amount of time for you to fully regain your normal self. 

While waiting on time to do its magic, be careful not to keep track of the number of days and weeks that have passed since your relationship broke down. That itself is very unhealthy for you.


 8. Journaling

Remember we emphasized the importance of pouring out your hearts earlier? Well, keeping a personal journal is a nice substitute if you do not have anyone to speak with or you simply don’t want to involve anyone else.


9. Put Reminders Away

While you are still recovering, endeavor to put away things that will remind you of the memories you’re trying to forget. It could be things as minor as a wristwatch, shoes, etc.


10. Move On

Having committed to the steps we’ve covered so far, it is time to move on. Forgive your ex if you were hurt by their actions.

There is a whole lot to look forward to in the future, so get up and go create fresh memories with the old and new friends waiting for you down the road. 

Moving on is a conscious decision that you alone can take. Decide today that it’s time to give life another try.


Things to Keep in Mind

The following are some of the things to have in mind as you carefully apply the steps we have listed above.

  •  Avoid Rebound Relationships: Resist the urge to replace an ex as soon as they leave. It hardly ends well.
  •  Do not Give up on Love: The last one may have ended in pain and betrayal on your part, but it’s not a guarantee that the next one will. Do not give up on love just yet.



So, how much time will it take for the memories of your ex to pop up less frequently? How much longer will you have to endure this pain and emptiness? Well, it’s all in your hands.

No matter how much you loved your ex, life doesn’t have to take a permanent downward spiral for you because they left. Dust yourself up and forge ahead to a better life. 

While it is never going to happen overnight, if you can apply what we have covered in this article, you will be setting yourself on course for a quick recovery.